Obscure Athletes

Where the 15 Minutes of Fame Never End

I usually hate groups of people with a common cause BUT…

I’m here today to call everyone in the Obscure Athletes-reading community

All the luck in the Irish Universe couldn't make these dickheads full-time SportsCenter anchors.

together. We must unite to make the sporting community, and our society as a whole, a better place, and to me the obvious place to start is at the epicenter of mediocre, rehashed, thoughtless garbage: the Mike and Mike Morning Show, broadcast every morning on ESPN Radio and simulcast as part of the “What the fuck else are we gonna show?” morning block on ESPN2.

Thanks, Worldwide Leader, for giving us something we’ve never, ever seen before in a morning program: The duo featuring the fat, marginally talented former player whose “Down-home” personality and overt lack of sophistication make him the perfect anti-intellectual counterpart to the uptight, straight-laced, salmon-eating douchebag whose  agoraphobic tendencies and overall twitchiness ensured that he never got laid in his younger days. Yeah, I’ve never seen that before, save perhaps for not only every morning sports show, but every movie Chris Farley and David Spade have ever been in.

Mike and Mike are the sports version of Two and a Half Men– recycled, contrived drivel, that uses every shitty old trick in the comedy book, garnering a giant audience and cheap laughter at every turn. Do the sports world a favor, and don’t watch Mike and Mike in the Morning. Not only that, tell your friends to make sure they never see or listen to it. In fact, I go on a personal media blackout from 6-10 every morning just to make sure I don’t accidentally stumble upon it while surfing the channels.

Join the cause, and spread the word. The betterment of western society is at stake here. The more people who don’t watch that garbage, the more the Worldwide Leader will have to consider using that four hours of daily airtime differently. At the very least, it’ll allow them to talk about Brett Favre some more.

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