Obscure Athletes

Where the 15 Minutes of Fame Never End

Things to Consider: Thrashers Moving North

In about 15 minutes, an announcement is going to be made that the Atlanta Thrashers will be sold off, and moved to

Haven't you had just about enough of this rubbish?

Winnepeg. Here are some things to consider about this now-imminent move:

-Atlanta might be the worst sports city in North America. They’re the only city in the history of the continent to have a major sporting franchise leave their city in favor of greener pastures…in Canada. Except now it’s happening  for the second time. The first was the loss of the Flames to Calgary in 1980. Whose idea was it to give those schmucks in Atlanta another chance at an NHL franchise?

-A team that plays in a league that, by all recent accounts, is more popular than the NBA, is moving. So I went to CBS Sportsline, SI, and the Worldwide Leader, to see what appears on their headlines this morning. Not a single headline mentions the sale and/or relocation of the Thrashers. Some headlines that DO appear on these sites:

  • Andy Murray in French Open Quarterfinals (I love tennis, and I know it’s a major tournament. But C’monn, man.)
  • Feldman: Next Coach for Milwaukee Bucks? (This will surely make me subscribe to ESPN Insider to read that whole story.)
  • Morning Jolt: NFL Team Moving to Toronto? (We get it, the Bills are the worst franchise in football and have been considering moving to Toronto. This hasn’t been a newsworthy headline since 2006)
  • Blatter rejects crisis talk as FIFA scandal widens (WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?)
  • Briggs powers UVA to NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Title (Not even a sports story. Lacrosse is not, nor has it ever been, a sport.  And one of the greatest thinkers of the 20th century agrees with me.)   Just a few more reasons to hate the sports media.
-Many speculate that the team may be rebranded in addition to being relocated. They may well end up being renamed the Winnipeg Jets– the team that left the city in 1996, looking for an unforgiving desert climate and one of the worst fanbases in the universe. They found all of those things in Phoenix as the Coyotes.

So Thrashers Fan(s), please take a moment, or even 15 minutes if you want, to reflect on the years of complete futility and overall embarrassment that your franchise has brought to the NHL, and the complete waste of time, money, energy, natural resources,  and space, that your team has represented over the past 13 years, and take a deep breath knowing that it’s all gonna end in mere minutes. And one of the worst markets in sports history–Atlanta, will only be burdened with three bottom-feeding franchises.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: