Obscure Athletes

Where the 15 Minutes of Fame Never End

Heat Drinking Game

When you’re watching the Miami Heat continue their ridiculous run towards facing the Mavericks in the NBA Finals again, here’s something to keep you busy. We’ve begun a short list of what we hope to be a Miami Heat drinking game. The game is as follows:

– Take a shot every time LeBron travels.

-Take a shot every time Bosh, LeBron, or Wade look off into the distance after making a basket.

-Take a shot every time there’s a cutaway to Pat Riley’s reaction on the sidelines after a questionable call on the floor. Take a shot again of Erik Spoelstra is shown before or after.

– Take a shot every time JuWan Howard tries to instigate an argument with someone from the other team.

That’s all I can come up with for now..I’m sure there are many others.


From the Desk of Mr.Boss

So, I was thinking,

This guy is ruining the NFL Today

With the coaching carousel that awaits us in the NFL off season, as a fan of the game I’m only worried about one thing: Who’s gonna replace Bill Cowher on the NFL Today? It’s a big hole to fill, and today, I came up with the perfect replacement. How sick would it be if they found a way to get John Madden to take Bill’s place? John wouldn’t have to travel like he did doing MNF, and he’d still be able to be involved in the game of football. Of course he has nothing left to prove at this point, but boy would he be an addition to that staff. Minus Charlie Casserly, that guy’s just absolutely putrid.

A Happy Christmas From Mr. Boss

I’m sure Christopher will chime in soon enough with his take, but I  wanted to make a post to personally thank the Obscure Athlete followers we’ve accrued so far this year. In 2010 we were born, and I can’t wait to see where we’ll be this time next year. We’re gonna work harder in 2011 to be a better unit, and I can’t wait. So, here’s to you, Obscure Athlete reader. Thank you!

P.S., Happy Christmas Birthday to: Rickey Henderson, Hideki Okajima, Willy Taveras, and Ruben Gotay!

From the Desk of Mr.Boss

So, I was thinking,


"Didja see that? DIDJA!?"

Can we all stop pretending that Mike Shanahan is some kind of football God? This is the same guy that, I remind you, hasn’t come close to winning ANYTHING since anyone named John fucking  Elway  wasn’t his quarterback. This recent Donovan McNabb situation has just made me hate Shanahan even more. I didn’t think it was possible. The look of sheer stupidity and fear he has painted on his face for every game just flashes in my mind every time someone speaks his name. Shanahan has managed to take an OK quarterback in McNabb and completely fuck him in the mouth. Why would you even bother giving the Eagles anything in return for this guy if you were just gonna dick around with him and end the season with Rex Grossman as your starter? Mind boggling, but oh so sweet at the same time. Why? Because slowly people are now starting to realize what a goddamn sham Mike Shanahan is, and I love every second of it.

From the Desk of Mr. Boss

So I’ve been thinking…

What were Knicks fans doing last night booing Lebron James and Chris Bosh? And chanting ‘overrated?’ Knicks fans,

Oh, and fuck Spike Lee too.

don’t you understand? Lebron was NEVER going to New York. And just because ESPN and the New York Daily News spent two years selling you on the idea that he might take his talents to the MSG, doesn’t mean it was ever going to happen. They just plain made it up. So fuck you. I bet you were feeling pretty good when the Knicks were up 51-50, eh?

From the Desk of Mr. Boss

After hearing the news that Cliff Lee was headed to Philadelphia, I was as surprised as anyone. In hindsight, should

And can you blame the Yanks? Why bring in Cliff Lee when Rodrigo Lopez is, no doubt waiting by his phone?!

anyone really be surprised? For the majority of this off-season, who was of higher priority to the Yankees: Derek Jeter or Cliff Lee? I adamantly believe that the distraction Jeter created has played a role in Lee getting away to Philly. I mean, you’ve been targeting this guy for a couple of years now. You reportedly offered him 6 years for $138 MM with a vesting option for 16 MM. How the FUCK do you let him get away? This is the offseason from hell for Brian Cashman and the Yankees. What’s their next step, snagging the human time bomb that is KC’s Zach Greinke? This is going to be hilarious.

PS: Here are some FA’s that the Yankees may now have to settle for now that Lee isn’t walking through that door, fans: Jeremy Bonderman, Justin Duchscherer, Jeff Francis, Freddy Garcia, Rich Harden, Rodrigo Lopez, Kevin Millwood, Brian Moehler, Brandon Webb, Nate Robinson, Jeff Suppan and… Carl Pavano.

From the Desk of Mr.Boss

So I was thinking,

Isn’t it weird to see Jason Taylor sprinkled in on the Jets defense? This is the same guy who used to be the nightmare that woke Tom Brady up in the middle of the night. Now he’s just a glorified Mike Wright. At least he used to be Jason Taylor. I wish I used to be Jason  Taylor.  Fucker.

I want to buy a PSOne

I’ve been playing a lot of MLB the Show lately, and it’s left me yearning for my past. In fact, I am certainly here to talk about the past. The past of great video games. I still remember the dark and rainy day in like 1995 when I got my PSOne. I played the demo disk until my hands were calloused. I loved every goddamn second of it. Crash Bandicoot was better than Mario on every single level.  Taking down Dr. Neo Cortex? Are you kidding me? He was a mad scientist  absolutely hellbent on ruining your shit, but Crash found a way to prevail every time.  Tekken, Tekken 2, Tekken 3. Get out of here. I’d take that Big Three over the Celtics Big Three right now. It’d be too much fun. 


I couldn't even begin to guess how many hours of my life I spent using this machine.

Remember PSOne sports games? I’m talking about Gameday 98. Triple Play 2000. NBA Live games with Luc Longley. Hell, you had to dedicate an ENTIRE MEMORY CARD just to save the season mode in Gameday 99.  This, of course, was a tall price to pay, but it was most definitely worth it to take the Pats to the promised land. Bledsode to Shawn Jefferson all day. At the same time, having to clear my memory card everytime I got this itch  motivated me to go and beat Tekken 2 another five thousand times. Paul Phoenix was an American hero in the King of the Iron Fist Tournament; a poor man’s Apollo Creed.  So the next time you go and fork over $64.00 for a masterpiece like another fucking Halo game, just remember it will never be as fun as these games were.

So it’s game 7


Dan Fouts


This is it, huh?  The Celtics are actually in Game 7 of the NBA Finals. This is ridiculous. If you told me they’d get this far two m onths ago I’d have called you a dirty liar. Fast forward to now, and here we are. Rasheed Wallace is going to have to STEP UP tonight. He could concievably get his entire contract’s worth in this one game if he manages a good game.  It’ll be like when JD Drew hit that grand slam in Game 7 in 2007. 

I’m not even going to pretend that I know what’s going to happen tonight. Like seriously it’s fucking game 7. You can’t hold anything back. Gotta go 1000% tonight. I wonder what Doc’s gonna say to these guys in the lockerroom. You figure this will be the last time for a while that the C’s are gonna sniff an NBA title.  This has to be where the road ends, right? The Big Three will be that much older, Allen’s probably not even gonna be here next year. Garnett’s knee will be shit by then seeing as it’s fairly shitty now.

Fuck the Lakers, go C’s.

Future Obscure Athlete?

Well, it looks like Mark Mulder retired today.  It makes me wonder, will we be talking about Mulder as an Obscure Athlete in three years? He was the second overall pick by the A’s in 1998.  Mulder, of course, was part of Oakland’s famed “Big Three” back in the early 00’s.  There was a time in baseball where all three of those guys could realistically compete for the Cy Young award.

Mark Mulder

Mark Mulder was a FORCE on the bump

From 2001-2005ish, Mulder put up arguably ace-like numbers; until about halfway through the 2005 campaign. His WHIP for that time period wasn’t higher than 1.38, which is staggering. Oakland ended up trading Mulder after 2004 to St. Louis for a package consisting of: Dan Haren, Kiko Calero, and Daric Barton. Make no mistake about it, this turned out to be quite the haul for the A’s. Just another reason why I love Billy Beane, because he just knows much more than you do.  Like he’s trading you a pitcher, just don’t take it.

Suffering from rotator cuff issues and the norm of any declining pitcher, Mulder began to struggle more in 2006. He made only 17 starts and managed to have an ERA of 7.14 with a nice 1.70 WHIP. Mulder was obviously not the same pitcher after the injuries, and was up for free agency in the 2007 offseason with St. Louis giving him a 2 year $13 million dollar contract. He went on to pitch a total of 12.2 innings throughout the duration of that contract and hasn’t been in the big leagues since. Despite several attempts to rehab his arm, it fell short for Mulder.

Now, it’s up to you, will Mark Mulder be an Obscure Athlete someday?

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